Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 11/08/2005

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

AGE DRINK
17 beer
25 beer
35 vodka
48 double vodka
66 Maalox

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

YOUR PoEm:
----------

Ultimate Haiku

The only problem
with Haiku is that you just
get started and then

- Author unknown

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.

- John Peers

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

Add free content to your page by adding free Jokes2Go Random Humor to it! Just visit http://www.jokes2go.com/get_script to pick up your free code: it's fun, easy and your visitors will be entertained by seeing a new random joke, story, poem, quote or list excerpt every time they visit your site.

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00

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
Charles Caleb Colton "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin "My friends are my estate." Emily Dickinson "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" -Walter Winchell "A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

Auction cars at 10% of value.

You might be asking yourself how it is possible to buy a luxury car at such a ridiculously low price, and the answer lay in the hands of the Government and financial institutions that seize and auction thousands of cars a day and auction them off quickly.

Various federal, state, and local government and law enforcement agencies as well as Banks and lending institutions regularly seize thousands of cars and Suv's every day and auction them off. At that point, we make it possible for you to bid and buy these vehicles for absolutely ridiculously low prices.

http://www.practisecactus.com/auct/

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00

A guy walks into the local NAPA store and asks "can I get a wiper blade for a Yugo"?

The clerk replies "sounds like a good trade to me".

A Texan stops in a Minesota bar and between drinks brags on how big his place in Texas but no-one pays any attention to him. He redoubles his efforts to get someone to listen to his monolog about his place in the great state of Texas but to no avail ... In desperation he corners an old farmers and declares � My place in Texas is so big I could hop into my truck in the morning, drive like hell and barely get to the edge of my property before the sun went down. The Minnesotian sips his beer and says �Yep � I had a truck like that once.

As a man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the radio that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

Make Friends with people near you.

This is something true. So please remember....

In life it's about who you know, not what you know.

friendsand(dot)com is the Internet networking tool that brings people together. So if you're looking to make friends, find that special person, or connect with potential business partners, you'll find what you're looking for, regardless of if it's right next-door or around the globe.

It's fun and easy.

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Community forums.
Message boards.

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Thank you and have a nice day.

00

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
Charles Caleb Colton "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin "My friends are my estate." Emily Dickinson "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" -Walter Winchell "A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

Unlimmited email and chat with women for a week for no charge.

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Thousands of new single ladies join every day to meet men.
Send and receive all the emails you want
Get up-close and personal in a chat room
Enjoy the chat rooms. Complete and full functionality.

Come and start YOUR 7 days now.

http://www.powertotake.com/uub/

This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines. If you would like to not receive newsletters from Double-O-Traffic located at:

1643 Warwick Avenue, #302 / Warwick / RI / 02889

Please use this link to make that request:

http://www.takeonethree.com/lelt/ or call (866) 529-2974

Thank you and have a nice day.

00

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
Charles Caleb Colton "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin "My friends are my estate." Emily Dickinson "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" -Walter Winchell "A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

Cars at 10% of their value at local auctions.

You might be asking yourself how it is possible to buy a luxury car at such a ridiculously low price, and the answer lay in the hands of the Government and financial institutions that seize and auction thousands of cars a day and auction them off quickly.

Various federal, state, and local government and law enforcement agencies as well as Banks and lending institutions regularly seize thousands of cars and Suv's every day and auction them off. At that point, we make it possible for you to bid and buy these vehicles for absolutely ridiculously low prices.

http://www.chewingexit.com/auct/

This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines. If you would like to not receive newsletters from Double-O-Traffic located at:

1643 Warwick Avenue, #302 / Warwick / RI / 02889

Please use this link to make that request:

http://www.menumenus.com/lelt/ or call (866) 529-2974

Thank you and have a nice day.

00

A guy walks into the local NAPA store and asks "can I get a wiper blade for a Yugo"?

The clerk replies "sounds like a good trade to me".

A Texan stops in a Minesota bar and between drinks brags on how big his place in Texas but no-one pays any attention to him. He redoubles his efforts to get someone to listen to his monolog about his place in the great state of Texas but to no avail ... In desperation he corners an old farmers and declares � My place in Texas is so big I could hop into my truck in the morning, drive like hell and barely get to the edge of my property before the sun went down. The Minnesotian sips his beer and says �Yep � I had a truck like that once.

As a man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the radio that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

Community message boards and chat rooms.

This is something true. So please remember....

In life it's about who you know, not what you know.

friendsand(dot)com is the Internet networking tool that brings people together. So if you're looking to make friends, find that special person, or connect with potential business partners, you'll find what you're looking for, regardless of if it's right next-door or around the globe.

It's fun and easy.

Chat Rooms.
Community forums.
Message boards.

http://www.cooleremailz.com/wayfu/

This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines. If you would like to not receive newsletters from Double-O-Traffic located at:

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Thank you and have a nice day.

00

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
Charles Caleb Colton "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin "My friends are my estate." Emily Dickinson "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" -Walter Winchell "A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 11/07/2005

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is
prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may
only see their reflection in a mirror.

YOUR PoEm:
----------

There was a young man named Isaac Cox
Who took as his motto: "I suck cocks."
This frank declaration
Brought him such reputation
That he spent twenty years sucking cocks on the docks.

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the
premises without restricting the view

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

Add free content to your page by adding free Jokes2Go Random Humor to it! Just visit http://www.jokes2go.com/get_script to pick up your free code: it's fun, easy and your visitors will be entertained by seeing a new random joke, story, poem, quote or list excerpt every time they visit your site.

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To subscribe or unsubscribe to your daily mailing login here: http://www.jokes2go.com/changeregstart.html
To read today's humor issues go to: http://www.jokes2go.com/jtoday.html
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To experience the best humor site on the web just visit: http://www.jokes2go.com

Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 11/06/2005

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

David Copperfield is doing his magic show and asks if anyone would like to
show him a trick.
"I will", replies a guy in the audience, "but I'm going to need your wife
Claudia and a table."
"Ok", says David and the guy gets on stage.
He then bends Claudia over the table, pulls down her knickers and starts
fucking her from behind. David is now very pissed off and says,
"That isn't a trick!!!"
The guy just looks at David Copperfield and replies,
"I know, it's fucking magic."

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

In Minneapolis, USA, 28 year old Derrick L Richardson has been
charged with third-degree murder of his much loved cousin, Ken E
Richardson. According to local police, Derrick had suggested to
Ken that they play a game of Russian Roulette, but, having no
revolver, instead put a semi-automatic pistol to his cousin's
head. Apparently, he did not realize that one bullet always
loads into the firing chamber of a semi-automatic.

YOUR PoEm:
----------

i'm sick

i've got a virus
i'm sickety-sick
i feel like a used tissue
ickety-ick

my head is congested
mucous overload
if i blow my nose once more,
i will explode!

i'm whiny,i'm cranky ,
i'm stuck in my bed
my face is puke green
and my nose is bright red!

my eyes are all bloodshot
my nostrils are crusting;
this sickness has made
me look
Truly Disgusting

i cough and i sneeze
spreading germs everywhere
my room is a health hazard-
Visitors BEWARE!!

being sick is no fun
in fact,it's a pain
i'm told i'll get better soon!
untill then...i'll complain

by,
gabrielle

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

Never give up. And never, under any circumstances, face the facts.

- Ruth Gordon

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

Add free content to your page by adding free Jokes2Go Random Humor to it! Just visit http://www.jokes2go.com/get_script to pick up your free code: it's fun, easy and your visitors will be entertained by seeing a new random joke, story, poem, quote or list excerpt every time they visit your site.

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- End of today's humor picks -
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Some useful links:

To subscribe or unsubscribe to your daily mailing login here: http://www.jokes2go.com/changeregstart.html
To read today's humor issues go to: http://www.jokes2go.com/jtoday.html
To get access to advanced features of your Random Humor Include, just login at: http://www.jokes2go.com/changeregstart.html
To experience the best humor site on the web just visit: http://www.jokes2go.com

Thousands of single ladies added daily.

Come and enjoy the true.com network.

It's the perfect time for you to enjoy a 7-Day absolutely no charge run on true.com.

Thousands of new single ladies join every day to meet men.
Send and receive all the emails you want
Get up-close and personal in a chat room
Enjoy the chat rooms. Complete and full functionality.

Come and start YOUR 7 days now.

http://www.lostfrost.com/uub/

This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines. If you would like to not receive newsletters from Double-O-Traffic located at:

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http://www.roastpost.com/lelt/ or call (866) 529-2974

Thank you and have a nice day.

00

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
Charles Caleb Colton "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin "My friends are my estate." Emily Dickinson "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" -Walter Winchell "A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

Talk to people near you.

This is something true. So please remember....

In life it's about who you know, not what you know.

friendsand(dot)com is the Internet networking tool that brings people together. So if you're looking to make friends, find that special person, or connect with potential business partners, you'll find what you're looking for, regardless of if it's right next-door or around the globe.

It's fun and easy.

Chat Rooms.
Community forums.
Message boards.

http://www.wiretowires.com/wayfu/

This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines. If you would like to not receive newsletters from Double-O-Traffic located at:

1643 Warwick Avenue, #302 / Warwick / RI / 02889

Please use this link to make that request:

http://www.commaken.com/lelt/ or call (866) 529-2974

Thank you and have a nice day.

00

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
Charles Caleb Colton "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin "My friends are my estate." Emily Dickinson "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" -Walter Winchell "A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

Cars siezed by the government and banks.

You might be asking yourself how it is possible to buy a luxury car at such a ridiculously low price, and the answer lay in the hands of the Government and financial institutions that seize and auction thousands of cars a day and auction them off quickly.

Various federal, state, and local government and law enforcement agencies as well as Banks and lending institutions regularly seize thousands of cars and Suv's every day and auction them off. At that point, we make it possible for you to bid and buy these vehicles for absolutely ridiculously low prices.

http://www.waterwhen.com/auct/

This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines. If you would like to not receive newsletters from Double-O-Traffic located at:

1643 Warwick Avenue, #302 / Warwick / RI / 02889

Please use this link to make that request:

http://www.backinlast.com/lelt/ or call (866) 529-2974

Thank you and have a nice day.

00

A guy walks into the local NAPA store and asks "can I get a wiper blade for a Yugo"?

The clerk replies "sounds like a good trade to me".

A Texan stops in a Minesota bar and between drinks brags on how big his place in Texas but no-one pays any attention to him. He redoubles his efforts to get someone to listen to his monolog about his place in the great state of Texas but to no avail ... In desperation he corners an old farmers and declares � My place in Texas is so big I could hop into my truck in the morning, drive like hell and barely get to the edge of my property before the sun went down. The Minnesotian sips his beer and says �Yep � I had a truck like that once.

As a man was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the radio that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

Meet people for a week at no cost.

Come and enjoy the true.com network.

It's the perfect time for you to enjoy a 7-Day absolutely no charge run on true.com.

Thousands of new single ladies join every day to meet men.
Send and receive all the emails you want
Get up-close and personal in a chat room
Enjoy the chat rooms. Complete and full functionality.

Come and start YOUR 7 days now.

http://www.lostfrost.com/uub/

This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines. If you would like to not receive newsletters from Double-O-Traffic located at:

1643 Warwick Avenue, #302 / Warwick / RI / 02889

Please use this link to make that request:

http://www.roastpost.com/lelt/ or call (866) 529-2974

Thank you and have a nice day.

00

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
Charles Caleb Colton "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin "My friends are my estate." Emily Dickinson "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" -Walter Winchell "A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein

Jokes2Go daily best Humor for 11/05/2005

Dear humor lover, welcome to today's edition of JOKES2GO.COM's daily humor email!

Your dose of humor for today appears below, fresh-picked from today's daily humor issues:

YOUR JoKe:
----------

Did you hear the latest theory about Monica Lewinsky?

It may never be proven but they think she may be the
youngest woman to have ever held the Presidency.

YOUR StOrY:
-----------

Do you ever wonder...

if you see a turtle on the side of the road with no
shell, is the turtle naked or homeless?

and since when you receive an item from ups and/or
fedex the item you receive is packed in foam, well...
when you send foam to someone or receive it what do they
pack it in???

and do flowers smell us???

Sent by Nichole

YOUR PoEm:
----------

A worried young man from Stamboul
Discovered red spots on his tool.
Said the doctor, a cynic,
`Get out of my clinic!
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool.'

YOUR QuOtE:
-----------

"Men never do evil so cheerfully and so completely as
when they do so from religious conviction."

-- Blaise Pascal

Visit http://www.jokes2go.com for today's humor issues, thousands of jokes in our archives, more than 200 humor lists, random jokes and much more!

Add free content to your page by adding free Jokes2Go Random Humor to it! Just visit http://www.jokes2go.com/get_script to pick up your free code: it's fun, easy and your visitors will be entertained by seeing a new random joke, story, poem, quote or list excerpt every time they visit your site.

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- End of today's humor picks -
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Some useful links:

To subscribe or unsubscribe to your daily mailing login here: http://www.jokes2go.com/changeregstart.html
To read today's humor issues go to: http://www.jokes2go.com/jtoday.html
To get access to advanced features of your Random Humor Include, just login at: http://www.jokes2go.com/changeregstart.html
To experience the best humor site on the web just visit: http://www.jokes2go.com

Very popular dating site.

Come and enjoy the true.com network.

It's the perfect time for you to enjoy a 7-Day absolutely no charge run on true.com.

Thousands of new single ladies join every day to meet men.
Send and receive all the emails you want
Get up-close and personal in a chat room
Enjoy the chat rooms. Complete and full functionality.

Come and start YOUR 7 days now.

http://www.offencecup.com/uub/

This newsletter is a commercial message sent in accordance with US legal guidlines. If you would like to not receive newsletters from Double-O-Traffic located at:

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Thank you and have a nice day.

00

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
Charles Caleb Colton "Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." Anais Nin "My friends are my estate." Emily Dickinson "A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out." "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" -Walter Winchell "A friend is someone who is there for you when he'd rather be anywhere else." - Len Wein